The summer of 2001, my hubby and I learned to fly ultra-lights and things were going very well.  By summer of 2002 we did no flying at all and we were working very hard on a special project that we literally spent the summer on, working practically day and night.  Only to find that it did not work out as well as we had hoped.  On December 9th 2002 a Monday morning I woke up with my whole back feeling as if I had slept on knotted ropes!!  I hurt and ached so bad it was indescribable, by that afternoon my whole back began to itch as if I had thousands of mosquito bites and that isn't a good enough description of how I itched and what the pain was like!!  I thought it was a bad case of vasculitis starting, yet I have not had one outbreak of it since I began drinking the trap water.

     I began to drink more trap water, I drank no less then 1/2 gallon per day, I took Benadryl, acetaminophen and kept spraying trap water olive oil mix on my shoulders and let it run down my back, then reach behind me and tried my best to rub it in.  When my hubby was handy I had him spray my back for me and rub it in.  At the most I only got 10 to 15 minutes relief.

     Wednesday evening I was laying down resting when I woke up and began to shake and quiver inside, I had a feeling inside of me as if I was the only person left in the world, I felt so lost and alone, even though my hubby was in the next room.  I began to cry uncontrollably along with the shaking, it just would not stop, I was starting to have some bad panic attacks for some reason.

       I managed to keep control of the pain and itching until the following day, Thursday the 12th and then several different sized spots began to show up on my back, but only on the left side.  I showed this to my hubby and he told me that it looked very familiar, his dad had shingles and this is what it looked like to him, but it had been so long ago since he had seen shingles he wasn't totally sure.  By that Friday the 13th, I called the doctor's office crying due to so much pain, itching and now the mysterious spots on the left side of my back and upper arm just behind my armpit.  I could not begin to imagine what the "H" was happening to me!!

     I got in that day on the 13th to see what they call, the doctor's doctor, he's the one people see in an emergency when the doctor is busy, only to find out I had a very bad case of - "SHINGLES!!"  Little did I know what lay ahead of me the following months and how our lives were about to be what felt, turned up side down and inside out!!

       Three times a day I took Famvir 500 mg., the doctor said that it might not do as good of a job in stopping the herpes zoster virus due to the fact I had waited to long before I came in to get help.  I took it with trap water thinking that it would make it work even better, the next week, I needed to go back to the doctors and was given another round of Famvir and still used the trap water.  In the long run it didn't matter, the Famvir didn't and couldn't do its job because I waited to long before getting help, but how was I to know what shingles were when I never had them?

     By the end of February my hubby had taken me to the hospital three different times to help get me stabilized, each time I was given three IV's due to being so dehydrated from the diarrhea.  The shingles attacked me on the inside as well, with the pain, itching, severe diarrhea, nausea, uncontrollable shaking and crying, I thought I was going to go totally insane and never new when a panic attack would hit.  On my third trip to the hospital a lady doctor gave me Hydroxyzine HCL, a antihistamine that is like Benadryl but lasts longer and is used to treat anything from allergies, sneezing to motion sickness, anxiety and as a sleep aid for insomnia.  Along with that I was given Ativan aka Lorazepam, within 20 minutes the shakes had come to a full halt, my body relaxed and my whole being just mellowed right out, even the pain had lessened.  It was GREAT to finally beable to fall asleep and rest for 6 hours, only problem was everything started all over again when waking up.

     I finally made up my mind to pick one of the doctors at the office where I was treated to begin with and stop this hospital, doctor and nurse hopping.  Because I never knew who I was going to be seeing when I needed help, so I broke down and had a full examination by one of the regular doctors and now accepted as a regular patient.

     To make this shorter it took close to 5 1/2  months for the shingle spots to go away!!  During that time and in-between using the Lidoderm pain patches, my hubby started putting ormus drops on my spots and spraying my back with the olive oil trap water mix.  I could feel the ormus penetrate and literally follow the nerve bundles.  It was so relaxing, I would fall asleep for about 2 to 3 hours and have no pain, but when I woke up, the shakes, diarrhea, uncontrollable crying and panic attack was back.  Several times we reapplied the ormus drops, sprayed my back again, but it just would not give the same results or feel as if any of it was working.  Then when trying to get some relief, I took the Hydroxyzine HCL, then had to take the lorazepam to calm down the rapid heart beat, end of taking the hydroxyzine HCL!!

     Thoughts of taking pics of my back went through my mind, but I thought what for and besides our digital camera needs to be sent in for fixing.  I felt so rotten, so depressed it was all most unbearable.  One good thing came out of using the ormus drops, trap water olive oil mix, I do not have one scare left!!  The worst scare I had my hubby said, looked like I had been shot with a 22 rifle, but I have no signs of anything like that or any scarring on my back or on my arm.  I really wished now I would of thought and felt like having my hubby video tape this then take snappy shots for proof.  But all I can give now is my word on this as the honest truth.

     During the above time frame, I was put on several different types of medications to try and help me, I could only use these meds anywhere from 1 to 2 weeks, some only 3 days due to some nasty adverse side effects.  Then the doctor put me on Klonopin as a last resort and I use Lorazepam as a back up to help calm the throbbing heartbeat that the Klonopin caused.  I took the Klonopin close to 30 days, it caused me to become dizzy and I blacked out, resulting in a bad fall.  I was taken right off of the klonopin and given the Lorazepam to take it's place to help over ride and deal with the withdrawal symptoms.

      Monday, May, 8th, 2003 I was still using the Lidoderm patches, taking the lorazepam and bursitis had set in on my left shoulder and I had to see a rhumatologist for this.  The doctor put 3 shots into the front of the left shoulder and 3 into the back side and aimed one of the shots right into the herpetic nerve bundle in hopes to stop the post herpetic pain.  I could barely believe that even the wind or a fan blowing by me or even my clothing could make the shingles area hurt so much.  By mid June the post herpetic pain had all most stopped, enough so I do not need to use the pain patches any more, my clothing and air does not bother now.  But while at the office I agreed to have a bone density scan done, only to find out that I have a slight problem with the neck of my hip bones.  I have what is called oseoopenia, meaning that the neck of my hip bones have a low bone mineral density, I stand a better chance breaking a hip than my hubby would if I took a hard blow to the same area.  And I have shrunk an inch taboot!!  At least the scan showed that my spine is still in good condition.

      The doctor gave me some samples of Actonel to take once a week and I was told that it would not inter react with the other medication.  Also the doctor wanted me to get 1,500 mg of calcium per day.  Needless to say my hubby brought me home from the doctor's office in tears!!  The next day, Tuesday, my hubby was out of town, he wanted me to wait until the next day when he would be home just in case I had a bad reaction to the actonel.  Well the very next day I got dizzy from the lorazepam, thought I was falling off of our porch to the ground, I grabbed the railing and hung on as I fell down on the porch, the railing which is 4 ft. high above the porch with rails running horizontally down to the porch.  Their was no way that I am able to fall over that railing on the porch to the ground one story below!!  I didn't break any bones, just hurt my pride, didn't even get one bruise out of the fall, just sore and ache.

     The following morning, Wednesday, I took the actonel and then 1/2 hour later took my thyroid med., then ate breakfast and downed my Citracal calcium with vit. D with trap water.  By the end of that week, some nasty side effects set in along with the side effects from the other medication.  I also found out how easy it is to get to much calcium too.  Then I found out by going to a actonel site that the calcium should not be taken so soon after waiting the 1/2 after taking the actonel, but later on in the day and that thyroid supplementation also interferes with the actonel up take.  By this time I had more problems than Carter has little Liver Pills!!  My hubby called the doctors office and told them what was happening to me and that I had also fallen the day before due to the other medication.  That was the one and ONLY actonel tablet I took!!  The nurse told my hubby I should not try to take any more of it until I am off of the lorazepam.  More on this later though.

         By June 14th I decided to start cutting down the Lorazepam that replaced the Klonopin, I was taking 1 1/2 mg. 4 times a day.  This may not sound like much, but all I did was sleep, it took every bit of strength to muster up any type of energy to do anything, just getting washed and dressed was a major chore.  The medication started causing depression, mood changes, severe headaches, muscle weakness, blurred vision, dry mouth, excessive sore throats, double vision, lack of coordination, fevers and chills to just name a few things.

     When I saw the doctor the following week, my blood pressure had dropped enough that in temps of 85 degrees outside or even the warm swimming pool water felt cold and made me hurt.  My regular doctor agreed that I needed to start weaning off of the lorazepam and she was glad to see that I had taken it upon myself to start getting off.  I found out the hard way that I could not just stop taking it, the withdrawal symptoms are very severe!!

     Now I am going to back up a little.  Everything my regular doctor had tried to help the depression and anxiety due to the post herpetic pain and medication didn't work, I've since found a product called Relora which is mainly for weight loss but also stated it does away with stress and anxiety of dieting.  I bought the product and then contacted the company to talk to them about what I was going through with this medication and also needed to loose some weight.  The lady I talked to at the company is very nice and sent me some info. to take to my doctor.  As soon as my doctor said it would be ok, I started taking the Relora, I have not had any depression, nor have I had any anxiety attacks since.  And I have the added benefit of shedding quite a few pounds which helps make me feel better as well.

     My hubby did some research on the web and found that the lorazepam is heroin based, then he called the druggist and talked to him to make sure, he told us the best way to come down off of the medication.  But, to expect things like a runny nose, some shaking, muscle spasms, itching, nausea, uncontrollable crying and if I started vomiting and shaking too much, then I would know that I had cut the medication back to far and too fast.  What we were not told about was hallucinating, I have had it happen only 2 times and that's enough!!  In the mean time, through researching Lorazepam which is a benzodiazopine, I read about Gamma Aminobutyric Acid, called, GABA for short and found how GABA can help with the withdrawal symptoms.  It's a long story about how Lorazepam interacts with GABA in the brain.

     Monday, August, 11th, 2003

     I now take one 500 mg. capsule of GABA and take 1 sublingual tablet called GABA Calm which is only 100 mg of GABA together at bedtime taken with trap water.  I will admit that I am coming down off of the medication fairly quickly, but I don't want to be on it any longer than I have to be, so I put up with some withdrawal symptoms to help get away from side effects.  Some times the trap water helps to shut the symptoms right down, sometimes I need to use 1/2 to 1 GABA Calm tablet with the trap water.  Most of the time I am up and doing something, anything, this helps to work off the morning shakes and internal quivering along with thinking about the most pleasant things I can think of or remember.  Such as, YES this is only temporary and their is a light at the end of the tunnel after all these months!!

     Then a few weeks ago I remembered that the vortex tiny trap is what we have been using since last year, 2002!!  The  winter sink trap is what we used to use all the time until we gave it to a friend and neglected to make another one.  So we got to checking the trap water out again, not that their is anything wrong with the tiny trap, but it doesn't seem to work as well with our water like our other winter trap does.  So my hubby made us another winter vortex trap, we have found that we do not get as much oil or energy vortices with the tiny trap.

       How we test the trap water is to draw several jars of trap water during the day from the different traps.  We wrap them in aluminum foil, then let them sit 2 to 4 hours until after dark.  Then we turn off the house lights, unwrap the jars one at a time and look to see how much oil is on the surface, the amount of vortex activity in the water with a focused beam mini mag light.  Then we use a laser pointer to shine through the jars and also down into the water to see how much relative colloidal suspension their is in the different trap water jars.  Then we rewrap them each jar when we're done looking them over and let them sit 24 hours to see not only how much vortex activity is left and to look at the bubbles in the jars.  What we have observed time and time again is that our samples containing high vortex activity and noticeable oil content on the surface, result in few to no bubbles after 24 hours.  Another thing we have noticed is that the bubble are smaller still after 24 hours.

      We feel that the smaller bubble indicates a higher energy fluid that is capable of breaking down the surface tension necessary to keep the bubble in tact.  When we can, we will do our best to capture these different vortices from the different sink traps to show.

     Looking back it is possible that a stronger source of ormus may have either prevented or lessened the severity of the shingles.  Some food for thought, did the trap water bring out the onset of shingles since it does or seems to rid the body of impurities or were we using the wrong trap for the type of water we have????

    Another thing during the past 9 months I have lost very little of the recalcification on the tooth that has the pegs in it which is on the left side of my mouth.  But no new recalcification has taken place.  The top of the tooth with the gob of recalcification on the right side of my mouth is still present but that tooth has a nasty looking cavity at the gum line.  And I also have formed several cavities on both of my upper front teeth.

     A few days ago I purchased a bottle of Zenergy, a Nano-Mineral Supplement Catalytic Calcium with Free Form Amino Acids and also received a sample of Thoth Paste which I appreciated very much and then ordered some Cleo's Milk to help my back.  When the Cleo's Milk arrives I am going to start using all of these things seriously and keep a record of the progress.  Since our digital camera is not in working order, we will be using a good quality video tape and take Snappy shots to help record things, but this is going to take time, I am still not totally off the medication, I hope I will be soon with the use of these products along with the trap water.

     When I received the Zenergy I did shake the bottle and stuck my finger in the cap and then licked it off of my finger, it just happened that it was on an empty tummy too.  I don't know how much time had passed because I really wasn't thinking about it, but all of a sudden I got the most wonderful calm throughout my whole being.  Something that I haven't felt in a long time.  Later on the same day I repeated the same thing, but this time not thinking I had all ready eaten supper, so I think it was 2 hrs after eating.  This time I HAD to lay down, no way out of it!!  When I woke up about 3 hours later I felt sick to my tummy, my hubby reminded me that we had a video to watch and it was 9 p.m., so instead of going to bed I stayed up to watch the video.  I think it took about 1 1/2 hrs for the sickish feeling to leave, but the feeling that I really needed to go to bed didn't leave, I had the most wonderful nights rest, I didn't want to take my med and the GABA but was afraid not to so took it anyway then went straight to bed, well after poking my little finger back into the Zenergy cap again!!  Just could not resist doing it again!!  <G>

     The next morning I woke up feeling really good, I didn't have the shakes or quivering, it was wonderful.  The next day I didn't use any of the Zenergy but did stick my finger in the bottle at bed time, I slept really good again that night but was quivery inside and had slight shaking in the morning.  But, I do want to wait until I receive Cleo's Milk so I can use everything and hopefully beable to get off this medication sooner.  This afternoon we did get pics of my teeth but forgot to get the 2 upper teeth, so tomorrow we will get that done and then I'll start brushing with the Thoth Paste, can't wait to use it.

     We will do our best to record of everything that happens, some times the feeling comes over me that makes me wonder why I am doing this, that none of this really matters, but I feel that is the med talking.  I sincerely hope that if anyone else ever gets put on an addictive medication and has a difficult time getting off of it, that what I do will be of help to others.  Their is no real description as to what one goes through and feels or how the mood changes, only if one has all ready been through it.  I keep forgetting to say that I will be hanging onto the pics until any improvement begins.

AUGUST, 13, 2003
9 p.m. (Wed)

     I had stated previously in the last diary up date that I had shrunk 1 inch.  I have also been ingesting 1/2 gallon more or less depending upon the day of trap water since Dec. 13th, 2002.  I have also been seriously taking an eye dropper full of HR every night for close to 2 weeks now and after about 5 minutes or so I drink a glass of trap water.

     I have found that by taking the HR at night before I take my med and the GABA, it not only helps me to sleep better, but the most important of all is when I wake up the next morning I do not have the shakes as bad.  Sometimes their is no shaking or quivering at all, this is helping me greatly in cutting down the amount of medication a bit faster so I can stop taking it.  In short, I feel more stabilized in the mornings.

    This evening the upper area of my back started really hurting, so I laid on a blanket on the floor so my hubby could check to see if anything in my back was out of place.  I have stated before in this diary that my hubby grew up having a doctor as a close family friend, he taught my hubby how to help his mother with her back when it slipped out.  My hubby learned this due to the fact that they lived over 100 miles from any medical help.

      As my hubby began to put my back in place, an area moved in the upper part of my spine in the dowager's hump that is just below and includes the large bone at the top of the spine.  When he was done I could feel what felt like an energy flow going down my left arm along with a sharp pain that did not last.  After getting up off of the floor and sitting in my chair, my ribs even flet different and I found that I could breath better.  I even felt as if my back was straighter and I was not hunched or slouching over as much, even my shoulders seemed to be up and back more where they belong.  Then an idea hit me, I had my hubby measure me as I stood up against the wall barefooted.

     On Monday, July 7th, 2003, when I had the DEXA scan done for bone density the nurse measured my height which at that time was 5` 2".  This evening as I stood against the wall my hubby measured my height at, 5` 2 1/4".  Is the ormus material, trap water and extra calcium supplements working for me so this vertebra moved back into place so that I can stand straighter?  Or could it be that the disc rehydrated so it would allow the vertebra to move back into place?  This is one that has not moved before!!  Could it be that I am going to regain my normal height?

     The doctor that taught my hubby to help his mother with her back said that people's bodies usually settle some during the day and at the end of the day a person does not stand as tall as they did first thing in the morning.

     Today my bottle of Cleopatra's Milk came from Priestess Alchemy, so just before I go to be tonight, I am going to have my hubby rub some on my spine and on the dowager's hump.  I am also going to rub some into my hip joints for the oseoopenia problem.  Also before going to bed I am taking the full dose of Zenergy Catalytic Calcium.  I have 6 months before the next DEXA scan is done to try and strengthen the neck of my hip joints.

AUGUST 14th
8:30 a.m.(Thursday)
     This morning when my hubby measured my height, I measured 5 ft. 2 3/4 inches.  This evening I'll have my hubby measure my height again to see if any changes have occurred.

     This morning after being up for about 10 minutes, I felt something move again in the dowager's hump and again a sharp pain shot down my left arm, but it didn't feel as bad as it did last night.   I had my hubby rub the Cleopatra's Milk into the full length of my spine as I did last night, especially on my dowager's hump.  The feeling was the same, warm and comforting penetration, so I just lay still until I feel like getting up.  I also felt a warm sensation in what feels like one of the herpetic nerves that keeps aching now and then, again it is a very pleasant sensation, warm and comforting.  Within a few seconds, less than 5 minutes the pain in that area stops as it did last night.

      This morning I believe is the 3rd time I have use Thoth Paste, I feel like I have so much happening or going on with me, especially coming down off of this medication, I'm loosing track of time and sometimes what I do and when.  I do my best to remember to write things down and keep it in front of me so I don't loose it.  Anyway, I feel that with each use, my teeth are shinier and whiter.  I brush with my regular tooth paste first then rinse my mouth out, then I brush with the Thoth Paste and leave it in my mouth and on the cavity areas.  As it dissolves I swallow it, then lightly spray my teeth with trap water olive oil mix and let that stay with what's left of the Thoth Paste.  After a few minutes I drink a full glass of trap water and wash everything down.  This is the second time I have done this, after about 1/2 hour I felt a bit light headed but nothing serious or bad and it didn't last very long, I feel it helped to calm me down some, it seemed to take the extra nervousness away due to cutting my medication back.

     Also this morning I waited 1 1/2 hrs after I had eaten and taken my regular calcium, then took the Zenergy and just relaxed for an hr or so.  Taking all these different things timing is important to me.  If I use the Zenergy or take a calcium tablet first, it interferes with the absorption of the medication I'm coming down off of and it causes me to have problems.  As I stated before I am also using Relora to stop the depression and anxiety due to the medication and getting the added benefit of weight loss as well.  So I need to eat a small amount of something to prevent tummy upset, then take the Relora and then take my medication and wait 20 min. before eating breakfast or any meal.  Since I am using the Zenergy too, I need to have an empty tummy, so I wait for another 1 to 2 hrs before taking this to make sure my tummy is empty.  The reason I don't take it first thing when I get up is I need to take my thyroid med which interferes with calcium and it needs to be taken on an empty tummy too!!

     Their are times I feel like I'm living in a tangled web of things and doing my best to break free, but I feel that there are many who have the same type of feeling even without being on medication.  Some days I live hour by hour when I cut the medication back and as I begin to stabilize then I live day by day.  I enjoy a day or two of being stabilized, cut the med down again and ride the merry-go-round and roller coaster again.

      I would like to say that using a combination of the H R, Zenergy, swallowing the Thoth Paste, using Cleo's Milk, olive oil trap water mix and drinking trap water all seems to be helping me to remain a little more on the stable side of things.

9:13 p.m.
     It's pretty much the end of the day I had my hubby measure my height, I'm 5 ft 2 3/8's inches, so I guess my back did settle some, but I'm still taller than what they measured me at the doctor's office which was 5 ft. 2 in.,  this morning I measured 5 ft. 2 3/4 inches.

AUGUST 15th Friday
9:15 a.m.
     I had my hubby measure my height this morning just for cause and again I measured 5 ft. 2 3/4 inches, unchanged from yesterdays measurement.

AUGUST 16th Saturday
9:39 p.m.
      This evening I decided to soak in the bathtub, usually I take a shower, our tub is old and very small, so it makes it a bit difficult to lay back and relax.  But once in awhile I like to sit and soak anyway.  I have tried putting trap water and olive oil mixture in the bath water but the olive oil no matter how little I use makes the tub slippery and it's difficult to get it cleaned out of the porous tub.  So I usually spray it on and rub it in after soaking or taking a shower.

     This evening I decided to put 2 caps full of Cleopatra's Milk from Priestess Alchemy in my bath water but I think one cap full would of really been enough.  I had the most soothing and relaxing soak in the tub and to my amazement, it didn't leave the tub slippery or oily feeling when I let the water drain out.  My skin feels not only like I dusted with my favorite powder, but silky soft as if I have literally lightly rubbed it all over my body,  and I only had to pat my skin dry instead of rubbing it dry with the towel.  It also took the pain out of the 2 bruises I have from when I last fell, it also helped to soothe that pesky herpetic nerve some as well.

     I was relaxed enough that when I sat on the floor, crossed my arms to oppsite shoulders and rolled back onto the floor, my upper back went back into place which also helped to ease the pain in the herpetic nerve.  Something else that I noticed was my finger nails, I briskly rubbed them across my towel and they shine as if I used a nail buff on them, I can also gently push the cuticles back with ease.  When I spritzed on some trap water olive oil mix over my skin as usual, I started to rub it in and found that it just absorbed with ease and I didn't have to stand and wait for it to dry either.  I'm going to try to talk my hubby into using it in his bath, I feel that it will help relieve his stress and tension from the day.

     After supper time I realized that I had not taken a 1/4 teaspoon of Zenergy at all, when I take it on an empty tummy, I NEED to lay down and rest for quite awhile and their is NO fighting to stay up to do anything.  My whole body feels very weighted and I HAVE to lay down and rest, which is good.  I didn't even think about it, I just panicked and took it and without thinking finished a cup of coffee I was drinking.  I got a big surprise, instead of needing to lay down, I had energy that felt very natural like what a teenager would have.  I just felt like doing something, anything, I didn't want to sit still, yet I did not feel hyper.  To me this was GREAT after feeling so sluggish and fighting to be able to just do anything.

       On the 14th & 15th (Thursday & Fri.)  For the next 2 days, I repeated what I had done the day before in the morning and at supper, this was wonderful to feel normal and just do anything without having to drag my backside.  I felt pretty confident that morning too, I barely had any withdrawal symptoms and cut my med back by 1/4 that day to, 1/2 mg. morning, 3/4 mg. noon, 1/2 mg at supper and and 3/4 mg. with only a 500 mg. of GABA taken with trap water along with the HR at night.

    By the morning of the 16th (Sat.) I REALLY felt confident, no shakes, internal quivering or pain, that day I took 4 doses of Zen to keep going all day, I also cut my med down by 1/2 mg 4x day instead of 1/4 of a cut back as usual, I honestly felt as if I didn't need to take it at all.  So now I had cut my medication down after only 2 days!!

     I have REALLY MISSED my tractor and mowing, I felt so wonderful, so pain free with the exception of a slight headache I ignored.  I started in mowing about 10 a.m. that morning, stopped for lunch and for supper and went right back at it again, I was having a ball, really enjoying myself and felt like I was alive again!!  :>)   But my poor old tractor had a problem that we blamed on the steering gear box, turned out the king pin in the left front axle was breaking down.  But we didn't realize this until it actually broke.  During the day while mowing and thinking that it was the steering I really had to pull and tug on the steering wheel to make the tractor turn.  This over worked my left shoulder when I had not to long ago had a bursitis flare up in it that I have previously talked about.  Yet during the day when I stopped mowing the shoulder and my back would hurt, but when I got back on the mower and started working again, I didn't hurt!!  My hubby also reminded me that if I kept taking the Zenergy in this manner that my 30 day supply would only last 15 days or less and I had better go back to taking the normal dosage on an empty tummy, 1/4 teaspoon 2 times a day!! :>(  Spoil my active fun!!  <G>

     Ok so begrudenly I dropped back to the 2 times a day dosage on empty tummy!!  I'm still drinking 1/2 gallon of trap water when I'm awake, the Zenergy makes my whole body feel heavy, so back to resting!!  I suppose that is best, but it was GREAT feeling as if I had not a problem in the whole world and being able to do anything like a normal person, what ever normal is!!  <G>

 21st (Thursday)
10:52 a.m.  This morning even though it's a bit late due to lack of medication stabilization problems, I measure 5 ft. 2 and 7/8ths inches.  This is GREAT inspite of having to return to taking 700 mg. of GABA with trap water, HR and an occasional 1/2 a Unisom tablet at bed time so I can get more than 4 to 6 hrs of sleep due to withdrawal symptoms and hope the following morning is better than the one before!!  I am still on 1/2 mg. of the medication and holding, I refuse to back up any and take more!!

     Some days I get relief from the pesky herpetic nerve and shoulder pain and muscle spasms from using Cleopatra's Milk / Zola, or just drinking a quart of trap water, sometimes I need to spray trap water olive oil mix over it to help kill the pain.  Other times that does not work, sometimes I find that running the trap in the sink and letting it drizzle over my arm, shoulder & down my back gives me more relief than trap water olive oil mix does, it's just never the same.  One time one thing will help another time it doesn't seem to help.  Last night I tried it all, from letting the trap water run over my shoulder to using Zola, then later spraying trap water olive oil over it.  My hubby even adjusted my back which it needed but everything I tried, I just could not get away from any of the pain until I took my usual stuff at bed time along with the Zenergy to help me get some sleep.  I ask for help from within, without and to who ever is listening and then do my best to just it let go and not think about it, then go back to living hr by hr and day by day.  Its been so hot the past few days that even the animals are a bit on the grumpy side and I don't think it's a good idea to be out in the sun and heat when it's like this.  This also means I'm not doing much in the way of weight bearing exercises such as walking or hauling brush to help my hip bones that I mentioned earlier.

     This morning an idea popped into my head, don't know how well this will work but the idea came from some where, I feel that trap water needs instruction, I believe that even HR likes to be asked what you want it to do, so if Zenergy needs to be clued in as to what to help with first or given instruction as to what I would like it to do for me, then this may help and I can relax a bit more and not worry so much about my problem of not having to take Actonel as mentioned earlier in this diary.

     I have a set of measuring spoons that are labeled, smidgen, pinch and dash.  I found by experimenting with them that the spoon marked dash will equal 1/4 teaspoon when filled twice and emptied into the 1/4 measuring spoon.  Now for the idea, I dip out one dash of Zenergy and drip it onto my calcium tablet, then let it sit until it starts to become soft and then take it with trap water.  I do this 2 times a day and at night take the full 1/4 teaspoon of Zenergy, wait until I feel the need to lay down, then take the rest of the other things besides my med with trap water, then go to bed and forget it all until morning.

     I have been having trouble trying to adjust how much calcium to take, the rhumatologist wants me on 1,500 mg. of calcium per day, I say hey, one size don't fit all doc!!  When I took that much I got into more trouble than I have now, I started aching all over, my back would not stay adjusted, it hurt all the time, I could not stand up as straight as I was able, my hip joints ached to the point of tears and I broke out with big red sores that itched and hurt.

     I totally stopped the calcium until all the sores left, which was about 3 to 4 days, then started in taking my calcium again and found now that I can take 1 calcium tablet 2 times a day plus drinking a glass of milk in the morning seems to be about right for me, at least I think so.  No more sores, the extra pain in my back stopped, the only ache or hurt I have now is from withdrawal symptoms which is enough all ready!!  I have until some time in November, it will be 6 months which is what the dr. gave me to literally stand taller than they measured me at the dr's office and for the neck of my hip joints to show improvement, this is when the next DEXA or bone density scan is due.  And to keep from having to take the dreaded Actonel.

     One more thing that I would like to make a note of, since taking the HR, Zenergy, drinking trap water and using trap water olive oil mix, I can now get into our swimming pool and not have my hip joints scream in pain when the water is 84 degrees!!

     Last night I talked my hubby into taking 1/4 teaspoon of Zenergy and drinking a cup of coffee.  He had been up since 4 a.m. and got home at 5 p.m., he was really beat, this did help give him some extra energy for about 1 hour, then he felt the same as I do when taking Zenergy on an empty tummy, he HAD to go to bed!! <G>  When he woke up this morning he said that he felt as if he has more sping in his step.

10:13 p.m.
     This morning as stated above, I measure 5 ft. 2 and 7/8ths inches, this evening I measured 5 ft. 2 & 1/4 inches, then my hubby adjusted my back for me, it was aching so bad I felt sick to my tummy.  After he was done, he measured me again and I stand, 5 ft. 2 & 1/2 inches tall now before bed time.  I think this does prove that my spine settles and compresses through out the day, as I do things my back shifts out of place making me shrink even more.  Plus loosing weight I feel that this has a bearing on it as well, but 1/2 inch we feel is still quite a bit to regain in height.  I feel that this tells us that when it's time for my next DEXA, bone density scan, I'm going to try to get a morning appointment and stay laid down until it's time to go for the scan.